They all say it. All moms do. It is no surprise. Nor is it something new. “Being a mom is the best job ever!”
BUT!!!! Did anyone ever tell…..shhh…lean in closer. Are you ready? I don’t think you are…..IT IS HARD! Being a mom is downright hard. There I said it.
I love my little girl with every fiber of my being. I do. But, wait. I’m going to say something else that not a lot of moms say out loud for others to hear (er…read). I miss me. I miss feeling like me. Tiffani. Not wife. Not mom. ME!
Sure, call me selfish. I am fine with it. I cater to my family hand and foot. I am a stay at home mom for now. I have been home with my daughter since May. It has been very nice to be with her and get some quality time in with my daughter that I have missed from the very first time I had to leave her at 6 weeks old to head back to work. My husband works Monday through Friday and takes care of this family financially and I am entirely grateful! There are a lot of moms out there that would love to stay home with their kids and here I am complaining about it. I know. Sounds ridiculous.
My husband doesn’t have to lift a finger in this house except I ask him to mow the grass (you don’t want me to unless you want a hack job!) and to take the trash out. That’s it. I do all the cooking, all the cleaning, all the care taking of our daughter, all the laundry, and all the grocery shopping. I pick up after him and I pick after our daughter. And myself.
Honestly, I am tired. I just ask for some “me” time. To feel like a human to just feel like the person God made. But, I keep going on doing what I do and that’s a mom and a wife. I don’t go out. Ever. I never get texts or calls to do anything. Yes, I am complaining right now. I am asking for a big fat pity party! I’ve lost sight of who I am. What makes me, me. And I never say this to my husband and I smile when my daughter chucks “Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you see?” at my head to read it for the 5,999 time that day.
My husband works hard every day, and I am at home. Of course, I am not going to ask him to help me during the evening. He’s been at work on his feet to ensure we are financially stable enough to survive. He is an amazing man. He works hard and cares for our daughter and myself. I am so blessed to have him, I really am.
Just every so often, I would love to do something for me. I want to go to the book store to walk around for a few hours to find that perfect book and not have to leave because my toddler is throwing a fit and everyone is looking, er gawking. I would love to sit down at a restaurant, with my husband and see the looks he used to give me when we first started dating. And enjoy the meal, I chose and didn’t have to cook OR clean up.
There are just times that I miss being me. But then again, I look at my daughter, holding her baby doll and giving it kisses and hugs, and I smile so big and think, “I wouldn’t trade this for the world”.
Being a mom is hard, but it is so worth losing sight of some of my unique features and share them with my toddler.